Getting There is Half the Fun

Running presents its own challenges in snowy, cold, and icy conditions.  You’d think the treadmill would be safe.  It isn’t.

My feet slid out from under

On my ass I fell asunder

coordination I clearly lacked

Like turtle flipped on its back

It’s too bad there wasn’t a video
It would go viral; this I know.

Not once, not twice, but it numbered three

That my feet slid out from under me

Help me I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
I finally got traction; oh what luck!

I almost did my feet regain

But I slipped and fell again

Rising up from fall number four

I skated and slipped my way through the door

Inside makes a safe workout
No more falling without a doubt. 

Oh, now here comes the fun

It’s a Ten mile step up run

Ask me again and I’ll tell you still

I truly hate the dreadmill

Meditation for the Day

Words and quotes speak differently depending on mood and experience.  When I began this post last night my focus was on how one person can make a difference.  One doesn’t have to be famous or rich in order to touch the world.

Tonight I see the mosquito.


Problems buzz in my head: sadness, fear, confusion, loneliness.  They itch at my consciousness.  I swat at them, trying to kill them or at least chase them away.  They come back and I feel their bite again.  They may be small in the grand scheme of existence and life.  But they carry a disease called depression.

I have depression.  It makes a huge impact on my quality of life.  There are times that a crushing sense of hopelessness ride on my heart and soul.  I withdraw from people and activities, I don’t enjoy life, I have no interest in anything.  I exist.

Depression in one of the most common mental health problems in the United States.  Approximately 14.8 million adults are depressed at some point in their lives. Depression is correlated with suicide.  Depression responsible for over 2/3 of the 30,000 suicides reported in the United States annually.  (1)

There is hope.  Depression can be treated.  My life is not always dark. At times I experience a sense of peace.

I receive care by a clincial social worker and a neuropsychiatrist.  They are “small” in the world.  However, they touch the lives of many and help them heal, or at least have a better quality of life.  My friends and family are also sources of support and change.

I practice Tai Chi, yoga, and meditation.  I stay physically active. Small things.  Yet they make a difference.

Perhaps some day I’ll swat the mosquito.  And it will be the “small” people,and actions that will get me there.

(1) Depression Statistics





High Functioning?

You function well in life. Looking at you no one knows you’re depressed. You hide behind a mask of normality. Yet inside you’re screaming. The depression weighs down your heart, soul, emotions, and mind. It’s hard to get through the day. Nothing is fun. Life is going through the motions. You feel numb inside. But you look normal. 

People don’t see it so you feel more alone.  But you smile and somehow make it through the day.  Suicide plays in your head like a demented song.  But you smile and make it through the day.

Sleep is your haven.  But you can’t always sleep.  And some days you can barely get up.  But you smile and hide behind the mask of normality. 

I wish I could be as normal as I look.

Fartlek  Humor

Finding humor in difficult times makes it a bit easier to cope.  This may be about running but I hope it still brings a smile or at least a groan.  Groaning can be stress relieving as well.

A brief explanation of the word “fartlek.”   In Swedish, fartlek means “speed  play.” The idea is increase your cardio threshold and reduce recovery time.   A fartlek is an unstructured run with the pace alternating between easy to hard effort for varying distances/time.  The runner decides when to do the pickup and for how long. It’s a workout form that I enjoy.  

Fartleks on Ice

The ice on the ground glinting
Fartleks mean a bit of sprinting

It has become its own game
Scored by five; this is the aim:
A five is when you run without a hitch
While two is when you land in a ditch

With a four you slip once, without falling 
A one and you land flat and sprawling 

Somewhere in between is the three
More careful of score you must be

You really don’t want to score a zero
That will make your ortho a hero

You will be off the road to injury recover
It is such a pain, such a bother

A dreadmill is the wise choice to run

But the extra challenge makes the workout more fun.
A four I scored by golly
 I wasn’t hurt by my folly

One more time to score a five
Always a perfect score I’ll strive.