The past few weeks were tough, mentally and emotionally. I try to keep a positive attitude and not focus on the negative. It’s not easy. I know I’m sliding down the depression hole again. However, I think there are things I can do to prevent going totally to the bottom- again. Thus, trying to be positive.
Currently I have two real issues that are pushing the depression. I’m still grieving losses from the brain injury. It’s ongoing. There are things that improved but so many that haven’t- and probably won’t. This may be what I have going forward. So, as I learned in the Marines, “Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome.” How do I adjust for and accept the changes? There’s a difference between acceptance and giving up. I still hope for improvement. I work towards it. But, I want to fully accept that this is where I am now. There may not be changes. The other problem is fear for the future. I put in my medical retirement paperwork. Work is one of the things that needs to change. At least for now, working is not a healthy activity. I am worried about what will happen with the retirement and after.
Mindfulness: focused awareness of the present moment. Staying in the now rather than worrying about the past or future. They can’t be controlled. We can only take action in the present moment. The awareness allows us to experience life in the fullness- the feeling of sun on our faces, the smell of the campfire, the bite of autumn coolness in the morning, colors of the leaves, and other. It’s a stance of acceptance of the moment.
Be where I am; be still in the moment.