One of the hardest lessons of life is letting go. Whether it is guilt, anger, love, loss, or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go. ~~ Unknown
This quote is a path to develop a happier life. We hold on to so much pain and sadness because we can’t let go.
Depression and PTSD are both rooted in worldview, self beliefs, and experiences we have in life. My struggle with PTSD and depression started with a betrayal of trust. After the event, I never quite trusted people again. I like people, I have friends, I love my family. But, I still keep a sense of distance between myself and them. For example, I never had a romantic relationship. I’m fairly happy single but I sometimes wonder how life would be different if I allowed myself to trust, and maybe love, again. I just can’t get there.
My world view changed. So did my self-image and beliefs. I always pushed hard against these and for years it more or less worked. Often PTSD issues from a traumatic event in the past are made worse, maybe triggered, by another trauma. The more trauma, the more thoughts and beliefs are reinforced . They become so strong they are reality for that individual. This is what happened to make my PTSD worse. The car accident. I don’t have any PTSD issues regarding the accident. Yet, it triggered the unresolved crap in the past. The coping and management skills I used are gone. This is in part due to the actual physical damage to my brain and in part because of yet another trauma leading to an increased sense of danger, weakness, and helplessness.
Depression often appears with PTSD. Preexisting depression is worsened or new depression is developed. Depression is also about distorted views of self and/or the world. As my PTSD worsened, so did my depression.
Eveyone needs to learn the lesson of letting go.
“It’s not that we can’t let go of the past. The past can’t let go of us.” PTSD is a trap. It’s an attempt to stay safe. We don’t let go because for us it’s a matter of survival and safety. Those “protective” beliefs and the physical responses become wired into the brain. We hold on. But we hunger to let go.