Lately, I am reflecting on my spiritual journey as related to TBI. My memory of the accident is gone with the exception of a couple of images. The strongest memory is of a spiritual experience.
From reading the police report and pictures I know the facts of the accident. My car hit black ice, spun out to left and off the interstate. The vehicle left the interstate, then rolled partially down an embankment, striking a tree.
The only recollection of the accident I have is that split second of “oh shit” as I realized there was no way I was going to recover control. Then, I became aware of an incredible, peaceful Presence in the car with me. I had the comfort of being “told” that no matter what happened, I was going to be fine. I was not afraid, even if I died, I knew it would be as it was meant to be. I was safe.
I am not certain of the exact nature of the Presence. It seemed there was more than one Being with me. My maternal grandfather had visited me in dreams and has been present in times of stress or danger. He was with me then. I also sensed a Power greater than any mortal or Guide. Perhaps this was my Guardian or some other higher being.
I did not experience a tunnel of light or the common near death experience. I don’t think I was near death due to my injury. However, I was at a decision point. This was a possible “exit” from this incarnation. Yet, there was unfinished work.
At times during my recovery, I felt overwhelmed. Emotionally and mentally, I felt I was left in a strange half-life. Much of what I used to value was eventually lost or changed. When I contemplated “finishing” the process of dying by committing suicide, I realized there was a purpose for me being here. If I ended my life, I would dishonor this purpose. Not to mention that I still had ferrets and a cat who depended on my care. It would also greatly hurt my family and friends.
I still seek to understand my purpose in life as related to the ultimate journey of my soul. Life does not end at death: we are a soul with a body, not a body with a soul. We incarnate to learn lessons. Throughout lifetimes, we gain wisdom and spiritual growth.
I plan to explore this topic more in future posts. In the meantime, be well and at peace.
Merry Part, until we meet again.