Yule is a time of reflection and celebration, a time to connect to inner wisdom, to others, and to the Goddess and the reborn God. It is the shortest day of the year and occurs between December 21-23 in the Northern hemisphere. It is Solstice, when the sun rises earlier and stays later every day. It is a time of hope and renewal. The Oak King returns!
This year, my Yule celebration was simple. Recently, I have struggled with negative, depressed emotions. On the evening before Yule, I spent time in silent meditation, communing with the Goddess and my Guides. Then, I cleansed and blessed my house. My house felt peaceful and brighter afterwards. It is interesting how the animals respond. Both Scout and Brigid spent time in the Circle and responded the the energy flows. I asked the blessings of peace, safety, and protection on the house.
On Yule morning, Scout and I woke before dawn. We drove out to Bennington Lake for an early morning run. Often, I find running a good time to meditate. Motion assists my mind to focus. This is especially true after the TBI. Still meditation is good practice for concentration but I find motion to be easier to succeed. There is no “right” way to meditate. Use what works. The meditation started with morning thanks to the Goddess and the God for my blessings of the year.
1. Scout. My service dog has added so much into my life. He has shown me that I am still able to do more than I thought I was capable. He helps enrich my life in many ways.
2. Bobby. This little ferret had a rough start to life. I was blessed to become his adoptive forever home. He is such a fun little man. So energetic and playful. He reminds me to have fun and not stress over the small stuff.
3. My health. I continue to improve with the TBI symptoms. The Topomax has helped control my migraine symptoms dramatically. I still have migraines but not to the degree as before.
4. My family. My parents, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousins all support and love me. Since my injury, I have been in contact with family I had lost touch with over the years. It reminded me of the fragility of life.
5. Friends. I have several good friends who have provided support and care through the hard times. The ones who left were not friends to start.
6. Running. No matter my runs are shorter and slower, I still run and have the joy of endorphins.
The next part of my meditation was about what I learned this year. The hardest lesson was the most recent. I accepted that my military career was over. Medically, I am not able to serve. I thanked the Lord and Lady for the wisdom to accept this. It was not easy. My unit is deployed and a part of me feels as though I should be with them. I am the process of a Medical Board. Other lessons I learned this year:
1. Recognize something to be thankful for daily and express it.
2. Be patient with yourself and others.
The last lesson connects to the work I want to continue into the next year.
3. Perfectionism can manifest in many forms.
In my last post, I mentioned running marathons and being angry with myself if I walked in the past. That is one example of perfectionism. In a sense, I do not seek perfectionism but I worry about “not being good enough.”
The last part of my meditation was what I wanted to work on for the following year.
1. Continue to develop a deeper spiritual connection
2. Release the fear of “not being good enough” or perfectionism.
Who I am will have to be good enough.
The run was outstanding. It started out in the dusk, predawn. It was cold, with a cold wind blowing. Then, it started to rain. Perfect. I almost changed my mind. But, I had decided that this run was part of my Yule celebration, so cold, rain, and wind aside I was going to run. As the run started, the day gradually lightened into dawn. The rain slackened. Scout barely got damp. He ran along happily, smelling interesting scents, running ahead, doubling back. He was watchful, responding to my calls and hand signals.
The sunrise was beautiful. The clouds held red, with yellow and white shafts of sunlight breaking through. As we rounded a corner, we witnessed a hawk take flight, with the results of a successful hunt hanging from her claws. The wind slowed. It turned into a cold, partly cloudy morning. Perfect.
Whatever holiday you celebrate during this time, may it be filled with laughter, light, and love!