I came across this picture on Facebook and it spoke truth to me. In reality, our minds can become dark and scary places. The words we speak to ourselves our powerful. They describe what become our reality. Take, for example, how I describe myself. “I’m broken.” In a sense, it is true. I am not who I used to be before the accident. There are activities I am not able to perform. I do not think as quickly and I get migraines. But, am I truly “broken?” Broken suggests uselessness, weaknesses, perhaps garbage. My mind goes to a dark place with that word.
Perhaps a better word is “different.” It is ironic that at the time of the Mayan calanedar ending, marking the beginning of a new age, I am struggling to find my indentity post-TBI. To the Mayans, this is the end of one rotation through the galaxay, a celestial age. It is a time of ending and beginning. Like my life.
I had an appointment with my cognitive therapist today. We spoke about the information often given to TBI survivors that we have 18 months to 2 years to recover. After that time, any issues we have are permenent. This information is proving FALSE with newer research. Our brains continue to recover but at a slower pace. This gives me more hope. I have to find some of the research. I am not broken.
My mind has been a dark and scary place the past month. The last few days, I see a few sun rays.