I had my speech evaluation today. It went ok. I have delay in word fluency and some issues with concentration. It was a long test with several sections. I now have weekly speech therapy.
I am feeling rather sad and frustrated. Every time things look like they’re getting better I get hit in the face with what’s still wrong. I also ended up with killer migraine after. My head is still a bit raw and I’m sitting in a dark room with only a small light.
For a while this afternoon I just wanted to give up. I found myself wondering why the accident didn’t kill me. At the time, my migraine was at a 9 on the pain scale and it was keeping me from sleeping. A nap usually helps with the pain. I felt like I was a burden to everyone and not able to give anything back.
It was a moment of hopelessness.
The pain faded enough for me to sleep a little. Better living through medication. Once I woke up, the pain was gone.
Right now, I know I will eventually heal from the concussion. It takes time and i have to be patient. I have more hope that i will be back at work and giving back. I still won’t deploy. I think that will probably bug me for a while. Life takes some interesting turns. I still want to go with my unit but know it won’t happen. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.
Keeping hope alive
Waiting for a bright future
As healing dawns full.
Horrors, bleak darkness forever.
Stealing hope. It lies.