Last night was rough. Something woke me up in the middle of the night. I was disoriented and dizzy when I woke. I must have been thrashing about and threw off my system. I wasn’t sure where I was or what was happening. The room was dark. It was a terrifying experience. Then, a lovely, normal sound. Thump! Scritch, scritch! Yep, one of the ferrets got up and was giving himself a thourough scratch. That sound was so calming and helped me focus on where I was; home and safe. I got up and went into the ferrets’ room. Koda and Kaliyah were both awake and surprised at the unexpected, middle of the night play session. I took more of the meclazine for the dizziness.
The ferrets have played a role in my healing. When I was first injured, caring for them was overwhelming. I could not manage having four ferrets out at the same time. The action, sound, and mischief caused me to shut down mentally. I started taking two ferrets out at a time, let them play for an hour, then put them back in the cage and nap. Then the other two ferrets got their turn. Cleaning the litter pans was a chore. I got into a routine. Clean one box at playtime. Check the water and food for the ferrets on playtime. Cleaning the entire cage and replacing bedding was too much. I had to have friends help with the process. Too much stimulation and activity.
The ferrets are affectionate and amusing companions. The first time I laughed after the accident was due to something Tosca had done.
Things have improved. The ferrets come out together for play. For the first time today, I cleaned the cage myself. I also got a migraine and slept for two hours afterward. But, I completed the task. While I was cleaning the cage, Tosca was into mischeif. She climbed onto the countertop and pushed off the treat box. And found a box of chocolate covered donuts. Only two donuts were “liberated” from their boxly prision. But, I still had to find them both and clean up all the crumbs and chocolate smears. Fortunately, the ferrets did not eat the donuts. They did nibble/ lick. At least chocolate isn’t as toxic to ferrets as to dogs. Koda and Tosca had a bit of the runs but are fine. Hunting the wayward donuts was enough to put me in tears. In retrospect, it’s funny. At the time, I was tired, overwhelmed, and only wanted to take medications and sleep.
The healing process is interesting. Everyday activities are part of rehabilitation. Tasks like shopping, cleaning, and cooking challenge my problems with concrete thinking and multitasking. My friend, Carol, has me over at her house often. I usually help with cooking dinner. It took me several weeks to recognize the tasks she was giving me were targeting deficits I have and were basically occupational therapy. Figuring out what size container was needed to fit the leftovers challenges space perception. Chopping vegetables works on motor control and hand-eye coordination.
It’s overwhelming when I think about all the tasks I now struggle with completing. There are odd gaps in my skills that I discover at strange times. Following a recipe with more than three steps is more than I can accomplish right now. I totally runied my dinner tonight: and all I was cooking was Rice-a Roni with ground turkey. But, cooking the rice was confusing. Trying to track the steps of the rice and cooking ground turkey was impossible.
Some days are better than others. Today was not a good day. I feel so tired, sad, angry, frustrated, and hopeless.
But, tomorrow is a new day. And, there have been improvements since the accident. I still have a long way to go. I just want to be “me” again. I’m so tired of struggling with everyday tasks. And realizing that even though I do well at home, I am far from normal.