Celebrating the holidays, ferret-style


Ferret Christmas CD


A few years ago, two friends and fellow ferret enthusiasts, gave me a CD titled “A Ferret Christmas.” The music is based on familiar songs of the season, with new and improved lyrics from the ferrety point of view.

Yesterday, as I struggled to wrap presents and clean up the inevitable messes caused by three ferrets and a kitten, I recalled the words to one special song.

The Twelve Days of Christmas.
On the first day of Christmas, my ferret gave to me… a big mess under the tree.

On the second day of Christmas, my ferret gave to me two bleeding ankles and a big mess under the tree.

On the third day of Christmas, my ferret gave to me three carpet sharks, two bleeding ankles and a big mess under the tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my ferret gave to me four missing socks, three carpet sharks, two bleeding ankles and a big mess under the tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my ferret gave to me
FIVE PEACEFUL MINUTES! four missing socks, three carpet sharks, two bleeding ankles and a big mess under the tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my ferret gave to me: six ferret kisses, FIVE PEACEFUL MINUTES! four missing socks, three carpet sharks, two bleeding ankles and a big mess under the tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my ferret gave to me: seven piles of poop, six ferret kisses, FIVE PEACEFUL MINUTES! four missing socks, three carpet sharks, two bleeding ankles and a big mess under the tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my ferret gave to me: eight minutes of war dancing, seven piles of poop, six ferret kisses, FIVE PEACEFUL MINUTES! four missing socks, three carpet sharks, two bleeding ankles and a big mess under the tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my ferret gave to me: nine dead roaches, eight war dances, seven piles of poop, six ferret kisses, FIVE PEACEFUL MINUTES! four missing socks, three carpet sharks, two bleeding ankles and a big mess under the tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my ferret gave to me: ten wet willies, eight minutes of war dancing, seven piles of poop, six ferret kisses, FIVE PEACEFUL MINUTES! four missing socks, three carpet sharks, two bleeding ankles and a big mess under the tree

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my ferret gave to me: eleven flat ferrets, ten wet willies, eight minutes of war dancing, seven piles of poop, six ferret kisses, FIVE PEACEFUL MINUTES! four missing socks, three carpet sharks, two bleeding ankles and a big mess under the tree!

On the twelveth day of Christmas, my ferret gave to me: twelve poofy tails, eleven flat ferrets, ten wet willies, eight minutes of war dancing, seven piles of poop, six ferret kisses, FIVE PEACEFUL MINUTES! four missing socks, three carpet sharks, two bleeding ankles and a big mess under the tree!

Some of these lyrics may not make sense unless you’re been blessed to have ferrets in your life. They can make ferrets sound mean and demented. Really, they’re not. They are joyful souls with a gift for chaos.

Take the tree. My ferrets have tubes, tunnels, boxes, and toys. Their favorite game right now? Tunneling under the tree skirt. For extra sport, the girls will periodically test the strength of the tree branches by attempting to climb to the top. I have pictures at home. Needless to say, any presents left under the tree are fair game for stealing and stashing. After all, they’re on the floor. The ferrets are only help to clean up.

Bleeding ankles: well, my ferrets never draw blood. But, Tosca has a failproof method of getting my attention when she wants something, usually her treat. She noses up my pant leg and gently nips my ankle. Predictably, I jump, then look down. Here’s this adorable little ferret face looking up at me, “Well, where’s the treat?” her little head cocked to the side. One of these days, I’m going to drop something on her. Since the kitchen is the site of this little action, most likely something messy.

Four missing socks: anytime I am missing my running socks, I know where to check; under the couch. Kaliyah regularly assists me in putting away any errant socks in their proper place, according to ferrets. Of course, she doesn’t steal the odd socks left after the washer fairy steals its partner- no she has to go for the matched pairs.

But, all the mischief is soon forgotten when I watch happy ferrets doing their “war dance” and bouncing about the room in wild abandon. Tosca often flips head over hind in her enthusiasm. And ferrety kisses are the best.

All in all, having four footed family members brings many smiles and much laughter during the holidays… now if I can only find my socks!

4 responses to “Celebrating the holidays, ferret-style

  1. This made me laugh! Vesper always did the ankle-bite thing when she wanted picked up. It never hurt, but always made me dance around anyway. I had just finally got her retrained to stand up against my calf when she wanted up instead when we lost her. How does the ferret-in-a-tree work out for you? Do they mostly stay on the trunk or do you start losing ornaments?

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  2. Well, there aren’t that many ornaments. I have an artificial tree, so I can bend the tips of the limbs to make it harder for the ferts to knock them off or steal them.

    LOL! Yeah, they have great ways of getting our attention. Vesper was a wonderful little one. She’s got her wings now.

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    • Thank you for introducing yourself. And thanks for the CD. I still get smiles listening to it. Even if it’s not Christmas season and I’m feeling down, I’ll listen to the CD. My other favorite is Up on the Countertop. Tosca learned how to open cabinents, climb the drawers like a ladder, then open the top drawer. She then proceeds to re-arrange one of the kitchen counters. Needless to say, nothing light and breakable is ever kept on that counter. I’ve shared that CD with other ferret owners and fans. Everyone of them relates to it in some way. lol. You need to do a follow up CD. =)

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